lots of updates

So . . . Lots of interesting things have happened. Where to begin. Well, Chris came home for Christmas. That has to be the greatest present I could have ever asked for. Even though he surprised me when I told him not to. Go figure. . . :) but lets see. . . The wedding date has changed once more to the final date. . . JUNE 4, 2011. About six months before the last one. . . Few reasons for it. . . 1, I didnt really want a winter weather. 2. why should we have to wait that long. . .  We kind of used Chris' leave to judge if we could do it. . . ya know, with him being gone for over a year and us growing apart and such, but we realized that we havent really grown apart at all... and that all of that was just going on in our head (moreso his than mine) I've wanted to get married since like, last January . . . :) hahhahahahaha. but yea. That's probably the biggest thing that has happened, or at least the most note worthy. My car died. Like dead dead. I get a newish one in about 2 weeks. its a Plymoth, not m dream car, but the price is right, and I need a car . . . so its what I'm getting. Life has thrown a lot of curveballs in the past month, and most of them I have yet to process. January and February always seem to be very self destructive months for me. . . and hopefully I can make it through Feb without and serious damage to myself or my life. Ha. But other than those things, life has just been filled with work. lots and lots of work.

blog update

until further notice.... =(

honest to blog...

So I've been thinking lately. It hurt. Dont worry. But, this is what I want: A minivan, 2 kids and to cuddle. Every night. I'm very tired of waking up alone. But I'll deal with it until he comes home. Mostly because I have no choice.

my wedding date

JANUARY 7, 2012... save the date. =)

Thanks Gilmore Girls, for depriving me of sleep

Things that make me happy:

A cool breeze on a hot day, A warm breeze on a cold day, The first break in the clouds after a long soaking rain, The first time in September that I see the leaves really falling, Thunderstorms, Driving with my windows down singing my heart out (even in the winter), Hearing a child filled with laughter, Hugs, A new tube of chapstick, When my puppy cuddles on me, Going to football games, Finding the first evening star and wishing on it, Watching falling stars, Or regular stars for that matter, Falling into the perfect sleep: the one where your entire body relaxes at the same time, Norman my teddy bear, The first day St. Arbucks brings out the pumpkin flavoring, A good cup of black coffee, The smell of my dad's pie, Driving at night to anywhere just because, Seeing a winter's sky on a summer day, Standing in a spot where the sky opens up and I can tell how truely endless it is, Mountains: Real mountains like The Siarra's, Snowboarding, Jones Cream Soda, Worshipping, My niece and nephews unfailing love, hanging out with Katie: just in general, Finding a perfect pair of jeans, Cuddling, holding hands in the car with my feet on the dashboard, being held around my waist, Falling asleep knowing I'll see him in the morning.

Of course those aren't the only things that make me happy, just the ones that make me the happiest.

in a movie?

So, I'm quite excited. I've been looking around for a new job since the beginning of september, I was starting to get quite desperate seeing as rent is due soon and well, I only get so many more paychecks from the waterpark. . . haha. But this afternoon, oddly, on a friday night none the less, I get a phone call from a restaruant owners wife, telling me how they would love to have me there. Now, being a server isn't really my thing, I was REALLY hoping for a better job than that, lifeguarding, being a secretary somewhere, anything but foodservice really. But beggars can't be choosers. Anyway, she said her husband loved my resume, yeah, I gave a resume to a restaruant, and gave it to her to read because it made them happy that I would put that much effort (desperation) into a simple application. But unknown to me, they had an add on Craigslist for a bartender, now I applied for server/bartender, just because I think it would be cool to be a bartender, but since I applied and am "Just" what theyre looking for, they're going to start training me on monday with their server shifts, and soon get me behind the bar. Reason I'm so happy, 1, its a job, it pays the rent, which really makes me happy, and 2, its not a snooty place, I can wear jeans and tennis shoes, and 3, its a non smoking place, which means I get to keep my lungs. Happy day.

on a down side, I dont feel very good at all, I think I may be coming down with the flu. I had a fever today along with basically all the symptoms. uggh. I hate being sick, I really want to stay in bed eating soup and drinking gatorade... BUT,  tonight was taco night with my sister. It was amazing. We made Tofu taco's (WAY better than they sound, just ask Chris, he couldn't tell the difference) and ate way too much. We also had Strawberry Cheesecake yumm! We played with the puppy and decorated the apartment to hopefully make it feel like home. Because even though we've lived here a few months, both of us just dont see this place as 'home', so we tried to fix it. I think the pictures up and a little rearranging did the trick. so life is good, minus the whole being sick thing!

Oh, and I'm guarding at a private party tomorrow. Yay for random pay checks. oh, and its a lake that people aren't even allowed to swim in, they are going to be kayacking and fishing. exciting right, I'm almost guarenteed not to go in tomorrow. Way different than a day at the waterpark where you expect to go in at least once an hour. haha.

Little Wonders

let it go,

let it roll right off your shoulder

don't you know

the hardest part is over

let it in,

let your clarity define you

in the end

we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made

in these small hours

these little wonders,

these twists & turns of fate

time falls away,

but these small hours,

these small hours still remain

let it slide,

let your troubles fall behind you

let it shine

until you feel it all around you

and i don't mind

if it's me you need to turn to

we'll get by,

it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made

in these small hours

these little wonders,

these twists & turns of fate

time falls away,

but these small hours,

these small hours still remain

all of my regret

will wash away some how

but i can not forget

the way i feel right now

in these small hours

these little wonders

these twists & turns of fate

these twists & turns of fate

time falls away but these small hours

these small hours, still remain,

still remain

these little wonders

these twists & turns of fate

time falls away

but these small hours

these little wonders still remain

This happens to be possibly the greatest song ever. Its from the movie "Meet the Robinsons" which happens to be one of my favorite movies for all time. The reason I bring in these lyrics and this movie?... Well last night, I was hanging out with Thomas at the Spivey household, eating pizza and watching TV, I decided, if I'm going to be lounging, I'm going to put on some pj's, so sure enough, I stole some of Chris' pajamas. One I was uber comfortable, but two, I smelled Chris. The good Chris. Not the smelly desert Chris who sometimes may not get to shower, it was the Valentines day, everyday scent of Chris. It was amazing. It made me think of that song, because it is those little moments, those little things that make time stand still, the worries and doubt fall away. Sleeping in his shirt smelling him last night had to have been the best sleep I've had since he left. Its those small things that I miss the most. I cannot wait to see him again. :)

You, are Westminster Happy. . .

We're adults, when did that happen?. . . And how do we make it stop?

I just wish that sometimes I could turn the clock back. Go back to when I was nieve about the 'treasures' of life. Dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm upset at ALL about how my life has turned out. I actually couldn't be happier. But there are just certain things that I wish I didn't know about. I wish I could still run and hide when I have a bad day, or not have to worry about if Congress passes a new Health Care Bill.I wish I didnt have to worry about the American public making the wrong decision because people are really good at making speeches, but have no meat behind the words, but then because I dont agree on the values and the things to be implemented, I'm called a racist. I love my country, we were founded on the dreams of hopefuls, we were founded on a republic society, with morals and heart. Yet, looking at the news stories, its very hard to tell if anyone still has morals these days. It worries me that our Government doesnt even hold these morals anymore. The reason I really am bringing this up was from a news story I saw on Fox News about the Acorn Agency. This agency is one that our "fearless leader" has openly supported, sending millions of government funding into an agency that has lied to the American public. They helped during the election, fraudulently helping minorities vote in different states/areas where their vote would count the most, often times helping people vote more than once. Now stop me if I'm wrong, but I only got to vote once, in the area I live in, not where my vote would count the most. But, because I know this and I didn't vote for our current president, or because I know our President openly supported them, I'm the bad guy. I will support our president in most ways, but knowing that this president and government supported agency has been found helping people illegally open brothels for prostitution, with illegal citizens, that are under age none-the-less, how can I have confidence that our country is moving in a good direction?...
I'm saddened by the fact that every job application I've filled out has a section asking if I'm receiving government funding, if I've been referred by a job agency, if I receive food stamps, or if I'm a military family that has been receiving food stamps. All of them I'm almost sure of have an affect of whether I get a job or not. Because who do you think needs a job more?... a person receiving government aid, or a girl who's choosing not to apply for it, even though I'm positive I could qualify.
I'm tired of hearing people talk about not receiving their Medicare/Medicade checks, foodstamps, or government aid checks, as they walk into a parking lot, get into their brand new SUV's while wearing brand name clothes.
I just wish the American people would care and look a little bit more in depth in the things they claim to care and support so much.
We're adults, when did that happen and how do we make it stop?...

I miss Chris, but as he pointed out today, when we go to bed tonight, thats one less day we have to worry about, its one day closer to seeing him.

Twitter is from God

Hey, don't judge me from the title, blame Brett. In church we started a series on Sunday starting in the book of Acts. Its going to be an alignment series, so all 13 campus's, all 10,000 members are going to be doing the same series for service and 'life groups' which sound like they all have aids, they used to be small groups, but I guess that just seems narrow minded because what if there are 24 people in a small group, doesnt seem so small anymore does it?... so now they're called Life Groups. But either way, everyone will be doing this series on Acts. It makes me super excited. At first, I was like, wow, another series on a book, this may turn out like the 2 year series, like the Luke series we did. . . Ha ha. But I wasn't really excited until I was going through the small group questions with the youth on Sunday night. . . They were really pressing and challenging the groups to know Gods mission for our life, Acts 1:8. Go to the ends of the earth and be a witness. It says it a little differently than that, but thats the simplified version for my simplified brain, mmk?. . . But I was talking to the youth and basically saying , now that you know what God's plan for your life is, are your friends going to be able to tell the difference?  . . . Because most of them before Sunday night, had never read that, sure they've heard it, but have never studied it, never focused that Gods mission for us is to go and tell everyone the Good news, that jesus has died and risen again, his mission for us is to go tell ALL the earth of His Amazing power. And in Service, Pastor Geoff talked about Resurection Power and how that is what proved Him as God. Sure, All the miracles Jesus did were cool, Bread and fish fed thousands, but Elijah fed himself and a widow for a year almost the same way, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, Paul raised a boy from the dead, Jesus turned water into wine, Moses parted the sea. All those miracles didn't PROVE Jesus was God, it proved he was a prophet, but it was His Resurection that proved Him God. So Geoff was talking about this "Resurection Power" and how by believing in Him, we too can have this 'Resurection Power' . . . So Seacoast is doing a Corporate Prayer. On Wednesdays at 1:08pm, they're asking the congregation and believers to pray to change lives, to pray about going to the ends of the earth and witnessing the Great news of Jesus. Thats where Twitter comes in. If you follow Twitter at all, send in prayer requests that you would like the church to be praying for with the hash tag #acts108 . That will filter it through to the right people to have that prayer prayed for.

Anyways though, back to youth, I'm just super excited to have expectations of lives changing knowing that my kids know what Gods plan is for them. They know it, they understand it. . . All we need now is prayer, strength, wisdom, curage, hope, faithfulness and so many more things to be able to fulfill it. I just wish at their age I would have known what God's plan for my life was. I always thought it was to just be super Christian and hide all the bad things in my life. . . if only.

Oh and a sidenote. . . *I miss Chris. A lot. But I'm not letting that get me down, not now. I've got so many amazing things going on right now. I really wish I could see him, hug him and physically know that he's doing well. . . Even though he tells me he is, there's still that line of uneasiness for me. . .

I'm gonna puke. . .

So that seemed to be the statement of the evening. :)

So my day was pretty amazing. It started off with me sleeping in until about noonish, thank you EP for having me as seasonal, so I get to look for a few job every winter :-/ Actually, I'm not really that upset about it, its given me time off to think about what I want to do until I get into being a paramedic. So any way, slept in until noon, wow it was amazing. Talked to Christopher briefly, he was running out to go hang out with the guys at their mens thingy mobobber, then met up with Katie. let me tell you about Katie. Katie is my all time best friend, through the best times and the times where I'm digging myself out of four feet of poop, she's been there for me, supported me and encouraged me. There were a few years after high school where we kinda had a major falling out, but we're back to being besties. And I Love It! But even through all the mess, I knew she was there. But besides, okay, So, Katie and I met up at Panera, where I attempted to have a very healthy meal, Half of a Chicken Ceasar Sandwich and a ceasar salad, in Katies words "I was feeling ceasary" :) after that we went to K-Mart, so she could point out the Italian candy she swore to me that I'd had before, when in fact, after pointing it out, I actually never had. . . then we went to the $2.50 Cinimas and watched 'Up'. Alright, A few words about this movie, its a kids movie, I shouldn't want to go kill myself in the first twenty minutes because I'm so depressed about life!!!  . . . It was a really good movie though, I majorly enjoyed it. "Caa Caaa, RAWR" :) that is our new calling. At the theater, we downed the bag of popcorn, mostly before the movie ever started. We couldnt help it, it was the reason we chose the movies over Celebration Station, we love the popcorn at the $2.50 Cinimas. . . Well, the night was still young, so we decided to head to Celebration Station anyways. We started playing the useless games that would get us tickets so we could get corney prizes. During our gamefest her mom told us that the fair had free admission, so what the heck, we got out Best Friend bungee bracelets and peaced! Got there got on 3 rides, all of which go in circles, not even slow circles, like, every ten seconds I was saying "I'm gonna puke". . . a ride where I squished Katie, her back popped and now my back hurts circle ride, and a ride where you go horizontal to the ground, the safety harness, just a rope looped onto a hook, but because the forces from the almost inverted spin, you're safe (ish) circle ride. . . and a ride that you spin yourselves while youre spinning around. . . We planned it out though, to spin opposite of the way the ride spins, so we could try and counteract the spin and not make us puke as fast. . . Either way all three were a blast. While walking out we grabbed a funnel cake and some lemonade and ate it on her trunk. Then we went to the Diner. The Diner is a tradition that has been in place since 2005. Actually June 4, 2005. I saw the post last night about our first Diner night, and the tradition has stayed faithful. Diner night is where a group of us all go to the diner, get some sort of food concoction usually served with coffe, while we play cards, dice, words, whatever and talk about God. Its our own little small group. Usually diner night is many hours long, we kept it short tonight. We got ANOTHER dessert chatted for a little while, then took off. . . Tonight was amazing. at the beginning of the evening, I received a friendship/Jesus bracelet. . . I love it, a friendship/Jesus key chain, its a blue car, cus my car is blue and Katie's is green since she has a green car. . . also she gave me a CD, its Estherlyn a VERY good Christian group. I dont think I spelled the name right, but either way :)

I love my best friend. How could this night have gotten any better? Multiple friendship bonds, a new call to find eachother in wal-mart, and I mentioned all the food for a reason. . . we are REALLY good at eating when we're together, mostly because both of us lack self control in that topic, which I believe both of us are okay with, I mean, Katie was the one quoted in the newspaper after the 30hr. Famine saying "Food is a hobby of mine" 'as she filled her PLATES of food'. . . This is why we are best friends. I am Very sad though, because our falling out time put a hinder on her meeting Christopher. . . I cannot wait for him to meet her. :)

Sept. 11. Thank you all you women and gentlemen who make it possible for me to have incredible nights like these, without a fear in my heart that something like what happened eight years ago, will ever happen again. I love you all! . . . Especially my Soldier :)