THIS IS AN EXPLANATION TO MY BLOG TODAY… SMALL CAPS LIKE THESE ARE ME AND HOW I FEEL, LARGE LIKE THIS IS HOW I’M BEING BROUGHT DOWN BY PAIN, AND HOW I FEEL WHEN JESUS IS LIFTING ME UP LOOKS LIKE THIS . AND THIS IS JESUS DIRECTLY TALKING TO ME
HEAR MY CRY, IF ONLY I COULD SCREAM, OPEN YOUR EYES ITS TIME YOU REALIZE, ITS YOUR OWN DEMISE. I'M WAITING FOR THE BREAKDOWN, IS IT EVER GONNA COME? THE PAIN IS REAL, EVEN IF NOBODY KNOWS, AND I'M CRYING INSIDE. I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY, THAT YOU'RE NOWHERE AROUND. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG. I KNOW, IT S HARD TO MAKE THIS WORK, WHEN YOU'RE ALL ALONE. FALLING THROUGH THE HOURGLASS, TIME TO LET GO OF ALL I KNOW. I NEED YOU NOW. YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE PAIN THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH, THE WORDS THAT FILL MY LIFE ARE NOT FROM YOU, BUT FROM MY FATHER'S HAND. IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHEN NO ONE EVER SEEMS TO CARE, DONT LOOK BACK. WITH MY LIFE I'LL MAKE A CHANGE. DO THEY EVEN KNOW. FROM THE WINDOW WHERE I SOMETIMES CRY, I JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE TONIGHT, AND I'M WILLING TO LOSE EVERYTHING I AM. I'LL TAKE A MOMENT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M DOWN, HAVE ALL MY QUESTIONS BEEN IGNORED, THIS TIME I'M WALKING OUT THE DOOR, I DONT KNOW IF I'LL EVER KNOW WHY, WHAT YOU SAID TO ME LATE LAST NIGHT I'LL REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THE FAILURE FELT INSIDE. ON THE BATTLEFIELD. SOLDIER STAY ON YOUR FEET. YOU CAN'T WIN BECAUSE YOUR SIDE IS GOING DOWN. THE ONLY SOUND THAT YOU CAN HEAR IS THE SOUND OF SOLDIERS HITTING THE GROUND.THE BATTLEFIELD IS JUST A DEATH WISH,I GET SHOT AND I DIE INSIDE, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE MY PRIDE. KEEP YOUR PAIN INSIDE, BEWARE, VICTORY IS MINE, ON THE BATTLEFIELD, SEND YOUR SOLDIERS OUT TO DIE, FILL THE AIR WITH DESPAIR, YOU’RE UNDER ATTACK, CAN YOU TAKE IT, ARE YOU GONNA MAKE IT. GO OUT AND DIE, BUT DO THE BEST YOU CAN, DEAL WITH THE PAIN, THE SWEAT AND POURING RAIN. WILL THIS NEVER END? TOO MUCH OF NOTHING IS TOUGH. IF YOU DON’T STAND FOR SOMETHING, YOU’LL FALL FOR ANYTHING. I CANT PRETEND THAT I’M ALRIGHT, AND YOU CANT CHANGE ME, NOTHING LASTS FOREVER. ITS JUST TOO LATE. IT FEELS LIKE YOU DON’T CARE ANYMORE. AND NOTHING’S ALRIGHT. THIS WORLD IS COLD. NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE. YOUR MOTHERS GONE. EVERYONE BLEEDS THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DO. EVERYONE HAS THE SAME THINGS TO GO THROUGH. LEARN A LESSON, YOU’RE NOT LISTENING, SOMETHINGS MISSING.IF EVER YOU LOVED ME, YOU’D SAY, ITS OKAY. ITS ALL A BIG SHOW, YOU ALWAYS TAKE TIME TO CRITICIZE ME, EVERYDAY I JUST CANT GET IT RIGHT. BUT NOT TODAY. NOTHING YOU SAID TODAY IS GONNA BRING ME DOWN. PROMISES SHATTERED. FRIENDS SAY GOODBYE, PLANS COME UNDONE. DREAMS GET CRUSHED, WORDS CAN TURN CRUEL, HEARTS CAN GROW COLD, IN A BROKEN WORLD. YOU’RE MY STRENGTH. YOU’RE MY REFUGE. SHOW ME LIFE, TELL ME TRUTH, DAY AFTER DAY I KEEP RUNNING TO YOU IN A BROKEN WORLD. I’LL BE THERE TO HOLD YOU SAFE UNTIL THE END.
THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL BATTLE IN ME, BETWEEN ME, GOD, AND THE HURTFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD. BASICALLY IT’S A BUNCH OF CLIPS AND PHRASES THAT ARE EATING AWAY AT MY HEART, UNTIL MY HEAD CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE, UNTIL I CAN’T SLEEP AT NIGHT, AND CAN’T DO ANYTHING BUT CRY.